#348: Do you have the ability to think while you listen?
Active listening skills are key to leadership, this is what it looks like
There are no endorsements in today’s blog regarding the most recent Republican debate. However, this picture shows us what listening looks like.
I am a political junkie of sorts, and I love to listen to analysts provide their punditry after these types of events. Last week, the GOP Presidential candidates met in Tuscaloosa for a debate. Afterward, one of the analysts commented on how well Chris Christie (pictured on the left) listens while he thinks of what to say next. I wanted to climb through my headphones to grab this so-called analyst by the shoulders to tell him that it’s impossible to listen and think simultaneously.
This picture shows that Christie is fully leaning in and listening to the Governor from Florida and not just waiting for his turn to speak. He may have points he wants to get through when it is his turn to respond, but listening is more than using your ears. Looking at the person’s mannerisms and seeing the emotion behind their words is as important as hearing them.
To be an effective communicator, you must listen more than you speak. God gave us two eyes, two ears, and only one mouth. Use them in that proportion. Also, remember, the sweetest sound to someone’s ears is the sound of their own voice! If they talk more, they will think you are an excellent conversationalist.
Tips for Active Listening
Active listening is a crucial skill for effective communication. Here are some tips to enhance your functional listening skills:
Give full attention: Focus on the speaker without distractions. Put away your phone, close your laptop, and make eye contact to show that you are fully engaged.
Show that you’re listening: Use verbal and nonverbal cues to indicate that you are paying attention. Nodding, making small affirming sounds, and maintaining an open and inviting posture can convey your attentiveness.
Paraphrase and repeat: Summarize what you’ve heard to confirm your understanding. This demonstrates that you are actively listening and allows for any necessary clarifications.
Ask open-ended questions: Encourage the speaker to share more by asking questions that require more than a simple yes or no answer. This shows that you are interested in their perspective. Open-ended questions start with who, what, where, how, and why.
Avoid interrupting: Resist the urge to interject or finish the speaker’s sentences. Allow them to express themselves fully before offering your input.
Reflect on emotions: Pay attention to the speaker’s tone and emotional cues. Acknowledge and validate their feelings to show empathy and understanding.
Provide feedback: Offer constructive feedback based on what you’ve heard. This demonstrates that you actively process the information and engage with the speaker’s message.
Eliminate assumptions: Suspend judgment and preconceived notions. Approach the conversation with an open mind and be willing to consider different perspectives.
Remove distractions: Choose a quiet and comfortable environment for the conversation to minimize external distractions. This helps create a conducive atmosphere for active listening.
Practice patience: Allow the speaker to express themselves fully before formulating your response. Patience is crucial in understanding the speaker’s message in its entirety.
Remember, active listening is not just about hearing words but understanding the underlying message and demonstrating genuine interest in the speaker’s thoughts and feelings.
When you are listening, with the sole purpose of hearing what the other person is saying, it is amazing what comes out of your mouth. Answers are much more evident when you aren’t biased towards one or another. As a coach, I can’t go to a session with pre-planned questions looking for answers. The answers lie within the client, and only through active listening will the proper questions surface. I am often stunned by some of the questions that come out of my mouth after I digest what my clients tell me.
Have you been told you are not a good listener? If you aren’t, you probably weren’t listening! If you find yourself crafting a great response halfway into your colleague’s monologue, you are not practicing active listening. Turn it off, and relax! Speaking of relaxing, I’ll do that over the next few weeks. My plan isn’t to send out any blogs until after the New Year.
Now is the time to create a plan for 2024 to see how you can improve your leadership skills. I have quite a bit of time between now and mid-January open, so schedule a 30-minute complimentary consultation to see how the Kole Performance Group can work with you or your team. In the meantime, have a Blessed and Merry Christmas Holiday Season!
Let’s make 2024 your best year ever!