#358: Facts don't care about your feelings
When does empathy matter, and what happened to problem solving
As a leader, how often do you consider the feelings of an employee or the team, as you recommend corrective actions to correct something? Problem solving is one of your main responsibilities in leadership.
You need to live with your emotions and the problems. Problem solving for me is easier. As an outside business coach, I have no room for empathy while working with clients. They call me when it’s generally too late or when they have had enough. This is where I place facts above feelings, and I do so to set priorities.
How can you put facts over feelings? This is how I go about it. I look at four factors when dealing with new clients or new problems.
Urgency: If there’s an urgent problem affecting productivity, safety, or the well-being of individuals, addressing it promptly is crucial to prevent further damage or adverse consequences. Ignoring the issue to focus solely on acknowledging emotions could exacerbate the situation and lead to more significant challenges.
Practicality: In many situations, resolving the problem is necessary to alleviate emotional distress. For example, if an employee struggles with a technical issue hindering their work, fixing the problem can help ease their frustration and stress, making it easier to address any emotional concerns afterward.
Effectiveness: Addressing the root cause of the problem often provides a more tangible and practical solution than solely focusing on emotions. By fixing the underlying issue, you can demonstrate concrete actions to improve the situation, which can be more reassuring and impactful than simply acknowledging feelings without taking steps to address them.
Long-Term Impact: Resolving the problem can improve the work environment and relationships among colleagues. While acknowledging emotions is essential for maintaining positive relationships and fostering empathy, addressing the underlying issues that cause emotional distress can lead to more sustainable solutions and a healthier workplace culture overall.
Overemphasizing Empathy
Arguments against empathy in the workplace are that it can lead to inefficiency and blurred boundaries. Here’s a more detailed exploration:
Overemphasis on Emotions: While empathy can be beneficial in fostering positive relationships and understanding among colleagues, an overemphasis on emotions may detract from productivity and performance. In a fast-paced work environment, excessive time addressing feelings and personal concerns may divert attention from critical tasks and goals.
Bias and Favoritism: Empathy can sometimes lead to bias and favoritism in decision-making. When leaders prioritize empathizing with specific individuals or groups, they may unintentionally overlook the needs and perspectives of others.
Complex Decision-Making: In some situations, empathetic responses may conflict with making tough decisions for the organization’s greater good. Leaders may struggle to balance empathy for individual employees with the necessity of implementing organizational changes, such as layoffs or restructuring, which can be emotionally challenging for those affected.
Boundary Issues: Encouraging empathy in the workplace can blur the boundaries between personal and professional relationships. While creating a supportive work environment is necessary, excessive emotional involvement can lead to unprofessional behavior, gossip, and conflicts of interest that undermine teamwork and productivity.
Emotional Exhaustion: Constantly empathizing with colleagues’ emotional needs and concerns can lead to emotional exhaustion and burnout, particularly for leaders and managers responsible for addressing interpersonal conflicts and supporting employee well-being.
While empathy has benefits, it’s essential to strike a balance in the workplace and ensure it doesn’t overshadow other critical aspects of organizational success, such as efficiency, fairness, and strategic decision-making. Encouraging empathy should be accompanied by clear guidelines and boundaries to prevent potential drawbacks and maintain a healthy work environment.
We call this the Kole Hard Facts for these reasons. Looking at facts, figures, statistics, and old-fashioned business metrics is not evil. We need to balance problem-solving and empathy, but in most cases, it’s better to do triage on the problem and then go back to try to repair feelings.
Remember, when you make an omelet, you break a few eggs. But in the end, it tastes good, and your hunger goes away.