#414: Kissing the Ring Without Losing Your Spine

How to Survive the Hammer Without Becoming the Nail

You just opened your email, introducing you to the new buyer at your largest customer. You’ve had dealings with this person in other capacities, and you don’t like them. They deal with every problem like they are the hammer, and you are the nail. They say one thing, but do the other, and it’s hard for you to respect that type of individual.

Well, you don’t have to.

You respect the position, not the person. And in dealing with the position, you still won’t compromise on your principles, but you need to look for win-wins.

I’ve been in this position more often than not. My longtime automotive industry readers will remember this name: José Ignacio López de Arriortúa, known simply as "Lopez." He came to GM in the early 1990s with a scorched earth strategy in purchasing. Although his efforts to save GM money were successful, his methods were ruthless. Suppliers accused him of tearing up agreements, sharing proprietary data with competitors to force lower bids, and fostering a cutthroat culture.

And then he was gone. He was off to Volkswagen with most of his team and thousands of pages of confidential documents (allegedly). But he left behind chaos, and some loyalists who only knew this way of doing business. Even today, when I meet with long-time industry experts in the auto industry, we bring up the “Lopez Effect”.

What did I learn during those and subsequent years? One main thing is that they won’t be around forever, like Lopez, they are in it to make an impact and move up in the organization. You, however, are the representative of your company, and you plan on doing this for a long time. Sure, you have ambition in your career, but that does not necessarily rely on personal relationships; it directly correlates to the revenue generation from your accounts. So, we keep them happy. And that means we come on bended knee to kiss the ring.

Here’s a short list of things to remember if you are put into this position.

1. Play the Long Game, Not Their Game - Buyers like Lopez come in hot, swinging hammers, and chasing headlines. They’re sprinters; you’re a marathoner. Nod, smile, and deliver just enough to keep them off your back, meet their deadlines, hit their numbers, but don’t burn your bridges with your team or suppliers to do it. They’ll move on eventually, and you’ll still be standing.

2. Paper beats promises - When they say one thing and do another, don’t just grit your teeth, write it down. Emails, meeting notes, promises made. It’s not about snitching; it’s about covering your butt. If they pull a Lopez and shred a contract later, you have a paper trail to protect your company’s rep and sanity.

3. Toss them a bone, but keep the meat - You don’t have to like them, but you do have to work with them. Dig for something they want, faster delivery, a cost tweak, a shiny report they can wave upstairs, that doesn’t gut your principles. Give them a win they can brag about, and you keep your operation humming without selling your soul.

4. Draw the line, and hold your ground - Kissing the ring doesn’t mean groveling. Decide what you won’t budge on, quality, fair supplier terms, your team’s morale, and hold that ground quietly but firmly. Lopez trashed relationships; you don’t have to. Say “no” when it matters, wrap it in enough sugar so they don’t choke on it.

5. Make yourself untouchable - They’ve got the title, but you have the know-how. Strengthen your position by being indispensable, knowing the market better, solving problems they can’t, and keeping your accounts profitable. When push comes to shove, they’ll need you more than you need them. That’s your integrity’s backbone.

6. Bite your tongue, by screaming later and smiling now - You’ll want to cry, they’re the bad guys, and everyone knows it. Don’t. Rant to your dog, spouse, and golf buddy, but keep it out of the office. Respecting the position means biting your tongue in the moment, not faking friendship. Save your energy for the actual fight.

7. Outlast the Chaos - The Lopez types thrive on upheaval, scorched earth today, corner office tomorrow. But chaos doesn’t last. Deliver consistent results, keep your cool, and wait them out. They’ll either flame out or climb higher, and you’ll still be here, running your show with your head up.

Over the decades, I focused on #5 as my primary tool. Often, we saw new personnel responsible for a commodity every 12-24 months. With every change, the institutional knowledge went with it, and guess what - I was considered the expert. On many occasions over the years, I would receive calls from inside that organization, asking me who they should talk to in their own company to accomplish certain things. When a new buyer with a Lopez type attitude would come in, I didn’t have to defend myself, it was the team around that person that would do it for me.

Change always brings about some level of discomfort. You need to prepare to deal with it, have a strategy and options to overcome the negative aspect, and learn to deal with it. Eventually, you will run into this type of change. It happens whether you are in sales, engineering, or senior leadership.

If you are struggling with a new colleague or client, let us help at the Kole Performance Group. We can build a strategic plan to capitalize on these opportunities!

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