Just tell it to me straight! Don’t mince your words! Keep it short, and I don’t care how brutal it is, I have things to do!
That’s me. I don’t take anything personally. I have no problem with criticism. Just get it over with, because I have a list a mile long that I need to get to! This is how I like to be treated!
If I spoke to my wife like this, it would be a very, very, cold household.
If we treated each other the way we wish to be treated, it could be catastrophic. We need to eliminate the Golden Rule as a method of communication, and think more of the Platinum Rule, which is possibly introduced by Dr. Tony Alessandra and Dr. Michael J. O'Connor in a 1998 Book.
“Treat others the way they wish to be treated”
That’s the easy part, but how do we do this? How do we know? As a DISC Consultant, I can put you through an assessment and your entire team. I can teach you all of the pros and cons of the 41 different personalities styles defined in DISC.
Or I can teach you 2 questions to narrow this down dramatically with 4 quick tips … I know you want me to write a 35,000-word blog and provide as much DISC knowledge as possible, how about I go with option 2 …
Two questions to narrow it down
When you are learning about someone and trying to connect - try to work in these two questions to the conversations.
If you had to pick, one or the other, even if it is just a slight majority … are you more outgoing or reserved?
If you had to pick, one or the other, even if it is just a slight majority, are you more people-oriented or task-oriented?
If you know the answer to these 2 questions, you can put this person in a quadrant:
Outgoing and task-oriented? They lean towards a D (Dominant Style). We aren’t going to get into all 41 personality styles, but I want to provide some simple tips on what NOT to do when working with one of these 4 main styles. If you are interested in learning more about yourself and your team - the Kole Performance Group will be happy to help!
Things to avoid with these 4 styles
With the Four Dominant styles of personality, some traits are more important than others, however today we only going to focus on their biggest fears. I have administered this assessment and coached hundreds with the information, and to me, this is one of the key things that you need to be aware of.
Dealing with a “D” - Dominant Personality
Yes, these people can be controlling, decisive, and results-oriented. They make up only 3% of our population, but you must be careful! The one thing that they ‘fear’ or ‘dislike’ the most - is the fear of being taken advantage of.
They are results-oriented and will give it their all - you set them on a course and they can pretty much direct themselves - but let them find out that they wasted their time, you didn’t need the information that they worked so hard on getting, or that you simply take them for granted - they are gone. They will check out mentally, soon to be followed by them leaving altogether.
Dealing with an “I” - Influencing Personality
Our persuasive, spontaneous, friendly people-oriented group that makes up about 11% of our population - whatever you do, always keep in mind, their biggest fear is the loss of approval or rejection.
For those of you with a couple of children, you may remember this, or if you have a couple of siblings. Mom and Dad could tell a couple of you that they were disappointed with them at the dinner table, one of the kids says to pass the peas, and the other thinks it’s the end of the world. If you are dealing with that outgoing and people person, don’t use this as a threat - they will completely underperform.
Dealing with an "S” - Steady Personality
When you aren’t sure about where someone fits? Treat them like an S … 69% of the population falls into this category - so it’s safe. They are your backbone of the office, very team-oriented, loyal, and accepting - and they fear one thing above all else - the loss of security.
Whenever you are working with an S, the one thing to avoid is to threaten them with their job. You can easily get away with that when speaking to a D, they are results-oriented, but S’s … they can’t accept that they are not contributing enough, and they need a sense of security.
Dealing with a “C” - Compliant Personality
Reserved and task-oriented - think engineer. They live by the checklist, they are accurate, detail-oriented, and treasure perfection. It should be obvious what you shouldn’t do to this 17% of the population - They fear being wrong or criticized.
This group prides itself on doing things right, double, and triple-checking. These are our airplane pilots and rocket scientists. That doesn’t mean they are always right, but when you challenge them, be creative in how you point out their mistakes.
There is a lot of work to be a proficient communicator. It makes it easy when you know how to break the code! Looking to build more productive communications with your team? Let the Kole Performance Group map out what that could look like!
Listen: The golden rule is old school